Working It Out In Fear and Trembling

Last night I tried to figure out why I had come to that point in my life that brought me to where I am now. Seven years ago when I thought, I wanted to die, I think it is because I was in total darkness and wanted out and the only way out was through Yahushua. He knew that but I did not. He had a better plan purposed for my life.  WHY did He do this? I still do not know.

What I do know now, is that I did not really want to die but that I really did not want to live where I was. (In darkness)  It took me a very long time to come to that conclusion. I believe that only a person who has gone that far towards the brink of death can understand this.

2nd Timothy 3:16-17 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:  That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.

Every Scripture passage is inspired by God. All of them are useful for teaching, pointing out errors, correcting people, and training them for a life that has God’s approval. Therefore, I look to scripture.

Probably the most quoted scripture in the Bible, may be where I have found my answer, John 3:16. This verse epitomizes the truth of God that has come to the Jews and Gentiles alike in Yahushua, The Messiah.  It teaches us that God loves His creation, the world; to love is to give, to love much is to give much, and God loves the world so much that He gave what is most precious to Him; Yahushua His Son.

One life for the sake of many.  He was fully aware in advance; that He (Yahushua) would, die and so are we because it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment. (Hebrews 9:7)

The destiny of man when he relies on himself instead of Yahushua is a life of total destruction. John 3:18 says that if we do not believe on Yahushua, we are already condemned because of not believing in the name of the only begotten Son.

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. (Romans 10:13 & Acts 4:12)

This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, His one and only Son. In addition, by believing in Him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life; so that no one need be destroyed.

God did not go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in Him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust Him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one and only Son of God when introduced to Him, according to John 3:16-18

Eternal suffering is the inevitable consequence for not believing in Yahushua not only in the future but right now.  That must be why the day of salvation is at hand because with the promise of salvation comes PEACE.  This is the greatest gift ‘in my life’ that I have been given and the promise of knowing that He will NEVER leave me.

In Yahushua, we have everlasting life, not only in the future but also right now and beyond the grave because He conquered death and hell. Blessed and holy is he that hath part in the first resurrection: on such the second death hath no power, but they shall be priests of God and of Christ, and shall reign with him a thousand years. ~ Revelation 20:6

John 5:28-29 Marvel not at this: for the hour is coming, in the which all that are in the graves shall hear his voice, And shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the resurrection of life; and they that have done evil, unto the resurrection of damnation.

We have positive life in Yahushua and positive death with out Him. Trusting in Him is not mere intellectual acknowledge but adherence to, commitment to, trust in, faith in, reliance upon Him as fully human, completely identified with us, and at the same time fully divine, completely identified with God.

If we die, we are in Him.  In my case, now that I am fully His, I know way to many scriptures of promise that I could turn to and resist the temptation to take my life. However, if I had a ‘chemical imbalance’ and were under that stress and were not able to think clearly, I believe that He would forgive me because that would be something beyond my control because prior to that I lived my life honoring and bringing glory to His name.


Exodus 20:13 Thou shalt not kill.  That word kill is atsach, pronounced raw-tsakh’  a primitive root; properly, to dash in pieces, i.e. kill (a human being), especially to murder:–put to death, kill, (man-)slay(-er), murder(-er).

‘Thou shalt not dash to pieces, Thou shalt not murder, and Thou shalt not put to death.’  No matter how we slice it or dice it, taking a life is against the will of God.

Yahushua Himself gave more meaning to this law and made it honorable. He said:

“Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. ~ Matthew 5:21-22

It is Who God is, that gives us reasoning that we should not kill, not just that it is a commandment. “I AM ADONAI, who brought you out of the land of Egypt“, which represents sin and bondage.

His benevolent involvement in the ongoing ‘life’ for our welfare (out of bondage) that, in faith, hope, love and gratitude His people should obey Him and not take life ‘from’ Him who has so freely given life.

If I am angry with someone and kill, I am in danger of judgment according to Jesus, even if I am angry without a cause.

The Aramaic word Raca, is pronounced rhak-ah’ of Chaldee origin (compare 7386); O empty one, i.e. thou worthless (as a term of utter vilification):–Raca.

Anyone who said that ones life was worthless, empty, fool or empty headed, they were placing their lives in danger with the Sanhedrin council. I am sure that this is because every human life is in the image of God and no one is supposed to kill His image, otherwise, man would have to forgo his own life’s blood.

Genesis 9:6 Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.

1st John 3:15 Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

If one takes the life of another, that person is under the power of eternal death because no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. Eternal life is a promised gift only through Yahushua and His shed blood.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

My thought process is this: because I am a believer in the Son of God (Yahwey), the God of Israel, and in His name, I have received the promise of salvation, the reward that Yahushua is bringing with Him.

Revelation 22:12 And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.

When Yahushua comes, He will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God. ~ 1st Corinthians 4:5

Even Moses knew that a name could be blotted out of the book of life because God told this to Moses.  Let us listen in on their conversation:

Exodus 32:31-33 And Moses returned unto the LORD, and said,

“Oh, this people have sinned a great sin, and have made them gods of gold.  Yet now, if thou wilt forgive their sin–; and if not, blot me, I pray thee, out of thy book which thou hast written.”

And the LORD said unto Moses, “Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my book.”

They had other gods before Him, thus breaking the law of God.

The angel of the Lord speaking to the church in Sardis told John to write that only he that ‘overcomes’ are the ones whose names are ‘not’ blotted out.

According to the angel of the LORD, nothing has changed regarding the possibility of ones name being blotted out.

Revelation 3:5 He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels.

We must overcome in order to have our names forever written in the book of life and to be found worthy to wear robes of white.

It is a sin to commit murder.  Sin is described in the 1st book of John as this: ¶ Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law. (1John 3:4)

So, evidently I was incorrect because ‘sin’ is going against the law and the law here is anomia, pronounced an-om-ee’-ah from the root word anomos, pronounced an’-om-os from 1 (as a negative particle) and 3551; lawless, i.e. (negatively) not subject to (the Jewish) law; (by implication, a Gentile), or (positively) wicked: –without law, lawless, transgressor, unlawful, wicked.

I do however disagree with the interpreter of Strongs where it is written in parenthesis (the Jewish), simply because if we are adopted into the family of Yahwey through His Son Yahushua and the work that He did on the cross, (And we are) then the law which God gave to Moses, is then ‘not’ Jewish.  It is God’s law since He is the One Whom gave His teachings to Moses. God is not Jewish.

Another thought that came to me this morning over breakfast is that where I originally came from, when Jesus stepped in an intervened, stopping me from committing my own death, this shows me that by my surrendering my life to Him after this fact and after my confession of that attempted sin, that I am no longer in control of my life.  I have surrendered my life to Him.  It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me and if I were to take my life, because He lives in me, I would be killing not only myself but also ‘He who lives in me’. Either the Spirit leads me or not. I believe that if God knew that a medication might bring me to suicidal thoughts, He would alert me not to take that medication.

I would have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, and thrown that life away by not heeding the warnings of the Holy Spirit and the written WORD. By taking my own life, I would have ‘willingly’ (key word) committed a sin and done so after I have received the knowledge of the truth, there would no longer remain a sacrifice for that sin, but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries.

WHY?  Anyone who has rejected Moses’ law dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. ~ Hebrews 10:28


If we give up now and turn our backs on all that we have learned, knowing that Jesus Christ Yahushua HaMashiach is our sacrifice and all that we have been given, including the Holy Spirit to guide our lives on a daily basis and all the truth that we now know, we are in effect denying Christ’s sacrifice and are left to face the Judgment of that denial.  If the penalty for breaking the law of Moses is physical death, we can only imagine what would happen to us if we reject the very sacrifice that makes us whole. Eternal death. God will have His day in court.  We must obey His commandments.

Romans 10:4 For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth.

A person that has trust in God which the law requires, (No other God before Him) therefore puts their trust in Jesus because the law is the foundation in which Jesus would come to restore that which needs redemption. To put Paul’s words into a different, yet understandable way, the purpose of the law is in Messiah, who provides righteousness for everyone who believes.

When we come to Yahushua, we completely trust in Him and put an end to our self-efforts to achieve the law of God and not the law unto works that we never could achieve.

Romans 10:5 For Moses describeth the righteousness which is of the law, That the man which doeth those things shall live by them.

Paul often quotes the law and folks just fail to see the foundation that he is building on. Here is the foundation that Paul is teaching on in Romans 10:4-5

Leviticus 18:5 Ye shall therefore keep my statutes, and my judgments: which if a man do, he shall live in them: I am the LORD.

Should there be any doubt whatsoever, righteousness that results from obeying God’s statutes and judgments leads to eternal life. The verse in the law says, ‘he shall live in them’. (Leviticus)  To make this a stronger statement Paul says ‘the man which doeth those things shall live by them’. (Romans)

Even in our much strained and secular society, we cannot charge someone with murder if the law says that the crime of murder is abolished. If the law did not state that it is a criminal offence to commit murder, everyone would be free to commit murder. If there is no law, there can be no crime. If it is a crime then there has to be a law. It is not a difficult concept to grasp.  I hope this demonstrates that the same applies to God’s Word and His law.


About eudoranachand

A Spirit filled disciple who continually seeks His kingdom and His righteousness.
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4 Responses to Working It Out In Fear and Trembling

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