This is actually a letter I sent to a fella by the name of Paul Marcus. I had been searching Facebook for a friend that I had went to school with by the same name. Days later, I discovered that this Paul was in fact that man. –
Greetings Paul, While I was thumbing through face book search for people, I was drawn to your profile basic info. I have been thinking a lot lately about folks who are facing their mortality right in front of them. We are all facing death, it is just a part of life, but some are given a death sentence through cancer and some are given hope, like your doctor is giving you.
In my ponderings, I have thought about both directives and what that would be like. For the one who has the sentence of only a few days, I realize that doctors pretty much know their stuff, but I wonder if they know the creator of life and the power that He has. While He does sometimes use His power to save, heal and deliver, there are some who do not make it and I often question God as to why.
Here not to long ago, last week on Thursday I was asked to drive the senior bus in our county to take one girl (41 years old) to her doctor. Her visit was to get her meds regulated. On the way down the road of a 74 mile trip, the young woman shared with me that she had tried to take her life. I had done the same in 2005 and my life was instantly changed so I knew that if she surrendered her will, she too would be changed. I listened to her story and was amazed with all that was on her plate that she hadn’t tried to take herself out earlier.
I ministered to her all the way down and pointed her to a verse that I happened to have just placed to memory: Because of God’s tender mercy, the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide us to the path of peace.” Luke 1:78-79 (New Living Translation)
She thought it was beautiful, but when I memorized it, I sobbed pretty much the whole way through because I knew that my Saviour had found me sitting in darkness and in my shadow of death and had guided me to the path of peace that I new have. I had hoped that she would find it more than beautiful, perhaps the words might draw her to ask Jesus for her salvation.
On the way back I was to pick up a friend of mine who had been taking her chemo treatment there at the Celilo Cancer Center. When I saw her, I was shocked at how yellow she was and I knew that her diagnosis had advanced since the last time I had visited with her.
She told me that the doctor told her that she would go ahead and take this two weeks off and go home and the lab work would let her doctor know if the chemo had actually been shrinking the tumor on her liver. If not, then she would only have possibly two weeks to live.
The girl who I had taken down, had heard this whole conversation. They talked a bit on the way home and the one girl shared with the other how she had just two weeks prior tried to take her life and showed her the scar that was gently healing on her wrist.
The one who has the death sentence was using everything in her knowledge of the God that she is hoping in to save her life, to direct this girl to give Him a try and place her trust in Jesus. Isn’t that so ironic? What are the chances of all that?
Through out the next few days I have been contemplating how God in all His tender mercy had set up that ride so that the one who was trying to fight and survive all the cards dealt to her and the other who had decided to throw away the whole deck by trying do away with the life that she has been given.
Then I remembered what I had done and now I am so upset with myself to have ever let that notion cross my mind. I have so often wondered why Jesus spared my attempt and why not others who had succeeded that had once lived in our county. Three weeks ago we buried a 25 year old young man who took his life. The week later a 17 year old did the same thing. two years ago, two 18 year olds took their life. Such tragedy and here you are striving to fight back.
Father I stand in the gap for this man Paul and cry out to You, to cause the folks who make decisions as to what drugs should or shouldn’t stay on the market that, You O Lord would cause their minds to make a decision to keep this particular drug in place to give folks a fighting chance. Paul has decided that he would take that risk and Father. This tells me that Paul is not loving his life to death and willing to help other folks by allowing himself to take the risk that the drug might help him and other folks as well. Perhaps the makers could tweak it in the mean time and You could give them the formula needed so that it wouldn’t have as much of a risk factor.
I believe that You Father can heal Paul and many others who are facing mortality right in front of them. I pray that You would encourage Paul daily to keep moving forward and that You would joy over him with singing so that Paul can be reminded that Your Joy o Lord is our strength. But like Your Son Jesus asked while He was praying in the garden, Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.
That I believe is my question as well this afternoon Father, Would You take away this cup of cancer away from Paul and Suzie, Are You willing? I do also pray that nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. In Jesus name I pray and thank You O Lord for even listening to my prayer. ~ Amen